I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Randomize