too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize