You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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