why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize