my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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