THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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