Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize