just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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