my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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