He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
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I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
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Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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