When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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