member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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