how do flat chested girls get laid?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
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Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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