i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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