Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
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There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
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So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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