so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize