i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
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His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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