I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize