i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
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im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
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Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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