just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize