how can u be prego again
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
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Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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