i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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