Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
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Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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