Tell her she can't have a vagina
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize