You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize