I am puke
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize