New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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