And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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