nut hugger
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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