yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
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"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
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My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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