I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize