Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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