she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
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Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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