Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just pee around me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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