you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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