i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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