i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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