Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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