The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
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