i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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