Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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