not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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