I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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