She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
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...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
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Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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