Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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