why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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