you would pick up someone in the library
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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