If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize