Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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