brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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